The Darjeeling Limited

I honestly empathize a little with Dr. Frankenstein (FRAHNK-EN-SHTEEEEEN!). All I tried to do was make a PC that would meet a few requirements and it took me weeks. Can you imagine trying to build a person? It would take forever just to get the hardware to fit together, not to mention all the programming!!!

It started with good intentions. An old computer had been doing some HTPC functions for us, but none of them well, and frankly I was happy that it baked itself to death. I promised my son I'd get it fixed quickly so he and I could watch Bugs Bunny together (best thing in the world - laughing at him giggle/chuckle/chortle at the Road Runner and Coyote). Fastest repair job would just be to replace the motherboard and call it a day, right? So I get on newegg, read some reviews, and decide on a motherboard/CPU/ram combo that is a little more than I need, but should last me for the next several years. And, plus, it has HDMI out, so if I ever get that flat screen I've been dreaming about for a couple years we'll be set. I guess I forgot to check if it has S-Video out... because it doesn't. (SO! stupid! stupid! stupid!) And I gave away my monitor because I hadn't used it in forever, so I couldn't even use the VGA port.

You know what I say to myself, let's just go ahead and get that TV. Bugs would want me to. So I did. And it works great. No story there. Best TV I ever bought (only one too...)

Ok I hook everything up, reinstall XP, the thing runs like it just got a new heart. Now if I only had some high-def content to watch. Hmm... I have that old ATI HDTV card in the back of my closet that I couldn't get working before. Maybe if I give it another shot... so I give it another shot, and another, and another. I just cannot get the stupid thing to work. So I uninstall all the drivers on the machine and uninstall all the programs except the most basic, and reinstall just the ATI drivers. Still doesn't work. Argh. Ok, well I'll just go back to the old TV card. Aw crap. Yeah. Doesn't fit.

I'll worry about that later... just going to watch this Netflix that just came. Shoot. Error no decoder. Well, I uninstalled PowerDVD but that shouldn't matter. No problem I'll just reinstall from the disc. Except that I threw the disc away just two weeks earlier because I didn't realize it was my decoder... I thought it was just bloatware. (you EEEDiot)

At this point I could just order PowerDVD online and be done with it... but that's what, $50 or something? For that I could get a better DVD drive and get the software for free. Well, you know, if I'm thinking about a DVD drive, for a little more I could get a Blu-ray drive! So I get a drive from Liteon. Hook it up. Install ALL the software this time. Play a DVD, works fine. Play a Blu-ray disc, doesn't work. Hrmm... well... let's read the reviews ah dangit it won't work with XP dang it dang it dang it. Oh well, that's fine. All I really was trying to do was to play DVDs anyway.

Let's see... what was I doing? Oh right trying to get my DVR/HTPC box working. That means I need to get a new TV card that'll fit. Go to best buy just to get something adequate. Spend hours trying to figure it out, doesn't work, take it back. Fine. I'm gonna just order the HDTV card on newegg that gets great reviews. Does it work with XP MCE? Check. Right size? Check. Um... anything else... standard antennae? Check. Good reviews? Check. Ok, deep breath. Bang, ordered. A couple days later it shows up. Beautiful! HDTV paused / rewound / inside out right? "Uhhhh, only works with XP when you use the proprietary software," says the MANUAL INSIDE THE BOX. "And, by the way, the remote doesn't work with the included software, only with MCE." SUCK!!!

Deep breaths. Fine. I thought I could avoid Vista until the Lord comes back, but. Here goes. I download and install Vista and you know what? It's actually pretty rockin for a Media Center PC. I haven't played with it much, but honestly nothing there to complain about so far. And my HDTV card... WORKS... SO... WELL... never has American Idol been this large and this surround-soundy in my loft room. (Seriously, I had no idea that some programs are actually broadcast with surround sound... I can hear the audience clapping in my surrounds).

A point of note here. I am not now, nor have I ever been, down with American Idol. HOWEVER, if David Archiletta wins, I *will* have to go outside and crush something.

Let's see what haven't I tried yet??? OH! My Blu-ray! Yes, let's rent The Prestige and watch it in HIGH DEFINITION SHALL WE??? WON'T THIS BE GRAND??? SORRY, the on-motherboard HDMI video module can't decode the video fast enough to render it without the actors looking like they were performing at my eighth grade talent show. (oh right you weren't there. we had strobe lights, and gymnasts, and ... uh oh yeah my best friend breakdanced to thriller).

Anywhoooooooo. Back to best buy to get an adequate card. Ok fine ATI whatever I'm not a hater. [insert annoying Lucille Ball crying here] It doesn't work with Vista, Ricky! Go back to the worst place in the world and, to make myself feel a little better, I pick up The Darjeeling Limited soundtrack. And it does, my dear friends. It does.

Back to the PC - I ended up getting a different card with a different chipset from newegg and it's great - no fan, big ol' heat sink. And by now I've failed enough times that I know all the things to check on the specs page. Get home, plug it in, and before the kids are done eating their buttermilk pancakes and canteloupe for dinner, Enchanted is playing on the TV YEAH! Ok, so one minor complaint - Vista Media Center doesn't play Blu-ray because it's not programmed to detect your HDMI connection. Why? I dunno. Seems pretty danged stupid of Microsoft. No biggie... I'm around 99% of the time that we're going to watch a real movie. Yeah, I think Enchanted is a real movie, so what???

I think that's all, friend. Here's what I ended up with and I recommend that if you're going to do it, you don't stray... or you too will be making that sad Charlie Brown walk back to best buy as I once did.

Motherboard:
ASUS P5E-VM HDMI LGA 775 Intel G35 HDMI Micro ATX Intel Motherboard - Retail

CPU:
Intel Core 2 Duo E6550 Conroe 2.33GHz LGA 775 65W Dual-Core Processor Model BX80557E6550 - Retail

Memory:
CORSAIR XMS2 2GB (2 x 1GB) 240-Pin DDR2 SDRAM DDR2 800 (PC2 6400) Dual Channel Kit Desktop Memory Model TWIN2X2048-6400C4 - Retail

HDTV Tuner:
Hauppauge WinTV-HVR 1800 MCE Kit 1128 NTSC/ATSC/QAM/FM TV Tuner Card w/MCE Remote - Retail

Blu-ray:
LITE-ON Black SATA Blu-ray DVD-ROM Drive Model DH-4O1S-11 - OEM

Video:
MSI NX8500GT-MTD256EH GeForce 8500GT 256MB 128-bit GDDR2 PCI Express x16 HDCP Ready Silent Heatsink Video Card - Retail

Operating System:
Legal Micro-stinkin-soft Vista Premium 32 bit - Downloaded

TV:
Samsung 330 LCD

Power:
Seasonic

Case:
Silverstone

Receiver:
Old Onkyo DTS 5.1 Refurb

Any questions - I'll be happy to answer... like... do I really expect anyone to read all this? No, actually I don't. Maybe it's for posterity. No, not that either. I was just bored and April and the kids weren't home yet.